Sleep Deprivation

For those of you that don't know, my wife Becca and I recently had our first child, Abraham. It's been the biggest blessing and simultaneously the biggest chanllenge that I've undertaken. He's brought more joy to my life than anyone besides maybe my wife.
However, nobody thought it was prudent to warn me that raising a child is also the equivalent of torture. Anyone who uses the phrase slept like a baby to describe a pleasant night of sleep is a filthy liar and should be punished. Becca and I and our neighbors are waking up several times a night and we are almost a year into this wild ride.
This kind of stuff was supposed to be over at the 6 month mark. Having lost the ability to get several hours of straight sleep has certainly taken a toll on me. Sleep deprivation is a tactic used by the CIA to get their detainees to crack. This extended lack of sleep has intense implications beyond the consistent wrinkles under my eyes. Seriously, take a look at this info graphic:

It's almost like we are suffering from Stockholm syndrome with our own baby. He's our captor and yet, when he belly laughs, I cannot help but laugh with him because he's so damn cute. However, I probably should be worried about the info in the graphic. I've gained 30 or so pounds since we found out about him, so here's looking at you, diabetes type 2. Seriously, this will be me soon.

But in all seriousness, severe yawning is not a joke. It's an invasive issue. Abe has woken up five times since I started this blog. Five times in two hours. Not a bad night, actually. Send caffine ASAP!